Re: (Fwd) "To Do" list for Dec.
michael k teehan (miketeehan@worldnet.att.net)
Sat, 20 Dec 1997 06:20:15 -0500
----------
> From: Kathryn Aegis <aegis@igc.apc.org>
> To: extropians@extropy.com; transhuman@logrus.org
> Subject: (Fwd) "To Do" list for Dec.
> Date: Thursday, December 18, 1997 3:10 PM
>
> If you haven't seen this yet, may I introduce some tips for holiday
> activities from the one particular human who has extroped the
> technologies of homemaking to their outer limits:
>
> ______________________________ Forward Header
__________________________________
>
> Martha Stewart's Holiday Calendar
>
> December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint
gold,
> turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.
>
> December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas
> message for answering machine.
>
> December 3 Using candlewick and hand gilded miniature pine cones,
> fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener
>
> December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha
trim.
>
> December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.
>
> December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer Committee
for
> consideration.
>
> December 7 Debug Windows `97
>
> December 8 Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth
>
> December 11 Lay Faberge egg.
>
> December 12 Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble
>
> December 13 Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters,
> particularly for decorative pie crusts.
>
> December 14 Install plumbing in gingerbread house.
>
> December 15 Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade "Holiday
Scents" in
> case tires are shot out at mall.
>
> December 17 Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor
wire.
>
> December 19 Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest
will be
> same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.
>
> December 20 Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in
confectioner's
> sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.
>
> December 21 Drain city reservoir, refill with mulled cider, orange
> slices and cinnamon sticks.
>
> December 22 Float votive candles in toilet tank.
>
> December 23 Seed clouds for white Christmas.
>
> December 24 Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen
> engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel
> less inadequate than they really are.
>
> December 25 Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color coordinated manger
scented
> with homemade potpourri.
>
> December 26 Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.
>
> December 27 Build snowman in exact likeness of God.
>
> December 31 New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a
friend
> in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that
> country.
>
>
>