Scott Painter wrote:
> Tell me what is wrong and I will tell you what you did wrong to cause it.
> Try me.
> Don't be an idiot.
> Learn something.
( From http://www.very.net/~nikolai/naststrg/23diseases.htm )
I woke up yesterday morning feeling like someone had painted
my tongue sometime during the night. I went and looked in the
bathroom mirror; someone had painted my tongue sometime
during the night. A sort of mottled creamy-pink matte
My finger-joints felt achy, my mouth felt like renovations
were going on lower down in my throat, and I felt
generally not entirely on top of the world. Wonder what
the biological warfare people call this one, I thought,
making aaah-noises and trying to see my tonsils.
Message on the answering machine. Nicole, from
Sydney. I called her (Optus) and whined about how
terrible I felt.
"I know how you feel," she said. "I had the same thing
last week. Aching joints, sore throat, itchy eyes," (my
eyes started itching as she said this,) "general weakness
"I need to lie down for a while."
"You'll start coughing later this afternoon."
"Great. How did I catch this from you?"
She replied in a sing-song voice, "Oh, you know, I gave it
to Loki, Loki gave it to Megan ..."
"and Megan gave it to me. I was wondering where she'd
"Well, after the cough passes, you'll get intermittent
headaches and dizzy spells ..."
"Let me write this down."
"and tomorrow, you'll wake up with a strange hankering
to listen to early Duran Duran."
"Oh, the humanity!"
"It gets better. After that, your overall mass will fluctuate;
you'll spend half the day flat out in bed, the other half
floating around near the ceiling. After that, general
synaesthesia - you see sounds, hear smells, feel colours,
that sort of thing ..."
"Now that sounds like fun."
"Go shopping in that state. It's a lot easier than you'd
She giggled, and murmured conspiratorially, "You feel
unbearably horny for about forty-eight hours. It begins
to wear off after that, although you might have relapses
of the mass fluctuation. Carry some rope around with
you if you're going for a walk, and you'll be right as rain
in about five days' time. Oh, except for the ..."
"Except for the what?"
She giggled again. "Never mind. I think it's best if you
find out for yourself." Click.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Mon May 28 2001 - 09:50:18 MDT