TEN PROPOSED NEW LAWS FOR THIS CRISIS:
1. To buy an American flag, you must present proof
you have voted at least once in the last three elections
(yes, local and state elections count).
2. To display an American flag in any form, you must
present proof of voter registration.
3. To wave an American flag in public, you must be
able to name at least one of the following:
A. Your Senator
B. Your Representative
C. Your President ("George Bush" does not count;
ambiguous)
4. To sell any product with an American flag on it,
you must answer the following question:
The Bill of Rights is part of: the Constitution; the
Magna Carta; the Declaration of Independence.
5. Those heard singing patriotic songs in public may
be asked to show their voter registration cards.
6. To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you
must be able to correctly locate Afghanistan on a map
or globe.
7. To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you
must list and correctly locate ten Arab homelands.
8. Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and
Arab-Americans must pass the following test:
A. Those who follow the religion of Islam are called:
Moslems Muslins Fanatics
B. The holy book of Islam is called:
The Koran The Koram The Bible
C. In Arabic, God is called:
Ali Allah Jehovah
9. Priority for purchase of American flags will be
given to those whose ancestors lived on American soil
the longest. When all American Indians who wish to
display the red, white and blue are satisfied, other
applicants will be accepted.
10. A call for war on any radio talk-show will be
construed as a public declaration of willingness to
enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24 hours to
complete the paperwork.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Fri Oct 12 2001 - 14:40:54 MDT