HUMOR: Clever Comebacks for Flame Wars
Scott Badger (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Tue, 1 Jun 1999 13:23:05 -0500
I've noticed that many of those engaged in the the gun debates could have
used some catchy phrases to more completely decimate their opponents'
Here are some clever comebacks to hurl at your antagonists. Hope they come
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn
to worship me.
- You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
- Who me? I just wander from room to room.
- My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
- It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level
I'm really quite busy.
- At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself
- Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously
and change the subject