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Here's some computer humor from the sticks up heah:
>>>> The Vermonter's Guide to Computer Lingo
>>>>
>>>> Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
>>>> Log Off: Don't add wood.
>>>> Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
>>>> Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
>>>> Mega Hertz: When yer not carefull downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
>>>> Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood.
>>>> Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a
>>>> floppy disk.
>>>> RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter
>>work.
>>>> Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
>>>> Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
>>>> Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
>>>> Screen: What you need for black fly season.
>>>> Byte: What black flies do.
>>>> Chip: What to munch on.
>>>> Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
>>>> Infrared: Where the left-over's go when Fred's around.
>>>> Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
>>>> Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
>>>> Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.
>>>> Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
>>>> Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
>>>> Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
>>>> 486: One of them fancy imported cars.
>>>> Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
>>>> Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
>>>> Port: Fancy wine.
>>>> Enter: C'mon in!
>>>> Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle >>
>> cost when your wife asks.
>>>> Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
>>>> Apple: If you don't know, I ain't tellin'.
>>>> Program: What's on TV when there's reception.
>>>> CD ROM: The furrnier at the bank that sells retirement
>>>> accounts.
>>>> DIN: The noise at the barn dance.
>>>> Laser: Someone less ambitious than you.
>>>> Line In: Whatcha do when you go fishin' or whacha dry yer
>>>> laundry on.
>>>
-- TANSTAAFL!!! Michael Lorrey ------------------------------------------------------------ mailto:retroman@tpk.net Inventor of the Lorrey Drive Agent Lorrey@ThePentagon.com Silo_1013@ThePentagon.com http://www.tpk.net/~retroman/Mikey's Animatronic Factory My Own Nuclear Espionage Agency (MONEA) MIKEYMAS(tm): The New Internet Holiday Transhumans of New Hampshire (>HNH) ------------------------------------------------------------ #!/usr/local/bin/perl-0777---export-a-crypto-system-sig-RC4-3-lines-PERL @k=unpack('C*',pack('H*',shift));for(@t=@s=0..255){$y=($k[$_%@k]+$s[$x=$_ ]+$y)%256;&S}$x=$y=0;for(unpack('C*',<>)){$x++;$y=($s[$x%=256]+$y)%256; &S;print pack(C,$_^=$s[($s[$x]+$s[$y])%256])}sub S{@s[$x,$y]=@s[$y,$x]}
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Return-Path: <christina.lorrey@valley.net> Received: from norwich.valley.net by tpk.net (SMI-8.6/SMI-4.0) id RAA25970; Mon, 7 Apr 1997 17:24:09 -0400 Received: from hanover.VALLEY.NET (dns [198.115.160.10]) by norwich.valley.net (8.8.5/8.8.5) with SMTP id RAA19439 for <retroman@tpk.net>; Mon, 7 Apr 1997 17:25:48 -0400 Received: by hanover.VALLEY.NET (blitz.valley.net) via SMTP from v2-p-127.valley.net id <3286957> 07 Apr 97 17:25:46 EDT Date: Mon, 7 Apr 1997 17:25:48 -0400 Message-Id: <199704072125.RAA19439@norwich.valley.net> X-Sender: christina.lorrey@pop.valley.net X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Light Version 1.5.2 Mime-Version: 1.0 To: retroman@tpk.net From: "Christina.Lorrey."<christina.lorrey@valley.net> Subject: FW: Woodchuck computer humor Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>Return-path: Sarah.Alden@valley.net >X-Sender: Sarah.Alden@pop.valley.net >To: mark.boillotat@dartmouth.edu, barbaraa@zlogic.com, > beowulf@huskynet.com, HORSE1701@AOL.com, sal@keene.edu, > Susan.P.LeBrun@valley.net, terryp@zlogic.com, > persinge@ccmailpc.ctron.com, jjoyce@pisgah.keene.edu, > paw@phibes.dartmouth.edu, dominic.albanese@valley.net, > christina.lorrey@valley.net >From: Sarah.Alden.<Sarah.Alden@valley.net> >Subject: FW: Woodchuck computer humor > > >> ---------- >>>> >>>> The Vermonter's Guide to Computer Lingo >>>> >>>> Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter. >>>> Log Off: Don't add wood. >>>> Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove. >>>> Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup. >>>> Mega Hertz: When yer not carefull downloadin' (watch th' toes!) >>>> Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood. >>>> Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a >>>> floppy disk. >>>> RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter >>work. >>>> Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season. >>>> Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season. >>>> Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below. >>>> Screen: What you need for black fly season. >>>> Byte: What black flies do. >>>> Chip: What to munch on. >>>> Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone. >>>> Infrared: Where the left-over's go when Fred's around. >>>> Modem: What you did to the hay fields. >>>> Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife. >>>> Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive. >>>> Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy >>>> Keyboard: Where you hang your keys. >>>> Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils. >>>> 486: One of them fancy imported cars. >>>> Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn. >>>> Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up. >>>> Port: Fancy wine. >>>> Enter: C'mon in! >>>> Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle >> >> cost when your wife asks. >>>> Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock. >>>> Apple: If you don't know, I ain't tellin'. >>>> Program: What's on TV when there's reception. >>>> CD ROM: The furrnier at the bank that sells retirement >>>> accounts. >>>> DIN: The noise at the barn dance. >>>> Laser: Someone less ambitious than you. >>>> Line In: Whatcha do when you go fishin' or whacha dry yer >>>> laundry on. >>> >>> >> >> >> > >
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