Bad Americans(?)

From: John Marlow (
Date: Sat Mar 10 2001 - 00:00:06 MST

Found this in my mailbox. I don't QUITE agree with all of it, and one
point makes no sense--but, hey, I like it. I refrained from posting
the Heston speech before, thinking it might not be appropriate--so
this time I'm taking the plunge. And, yes, a cop sent it to me...

Am I A BAD American?

I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - Great Legs 

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some 
middle-aged governmental functionary with a bad comb-over that wants
to give 
it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about 
appearing compassionate. 

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. 

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. 

I think I'm doing better than the homeless. 

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. 

I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are
weird or piss me off. 

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it. Hell
ask my wife. 

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of 
cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. 

As a matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak 
English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so
you can 
leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours. 

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're 
running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't
understand the 
word freeze or stop in English, See the previous line. 

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for
opinions or actions. 

If I received oral sex from one of my subordinate employees in my 
office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I
have been FIRED immediately. 

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine
no political affiliation recount when needed. 

I know what the definition of lying is. 

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you
for any special loan programs, govm't sponsored bank loans, etc., so
can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else. 

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. 

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks. 

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T
Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that 
crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I
your right to. 

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment 
than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box. 

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or
on the package. 

We did not go to some foreign country and risk lives in vain to
our constitution so that decades later you can tell us it's a living 
document ever changing and is open to interpretation. 

I don't hate the rich. 

I don't pity the poor. 

I know wrestling is fake. 

I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage of our
weren't wealthy enough to own one either. 

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous
than a 
Hell's Angel with an attitude. 

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should
allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will
the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in
the hands 
of someone with malicious intent. 

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and 
continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next
system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your
buddy that 
invented the Internet to help you. 

We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have. 

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a
with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
pretend they are a political statement. 

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid. 

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep 
silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this
allowed me that right. I will not conform or compromise just to keep
hurting somebody's feelings. 

I am sick to death of "Political Correctness". 

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the 
mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. 

Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a bad American.
John Marlow

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