HUMOR: Microsoft Alleges US Government is a Monopoly

From: Brian Atkins (
Date: Wed Jun 28 2000 - 09:17:40 MDT

('scuse formatting please)

     Redmond, WA - Microsoft today filed papers in Federal District Court
alleging that the United States Government is a monopoly. The papers allege
     that the current government has stifled competition, and has prevented
innovation in government, by using its monopoly power to pass laws prohibiting
     the formation of another Federal government.
     "American's don't have a choice in which army will protect them. They have
no choice in who will collect their taxes. Less than 50% of the people even
     bother to vote because they know it won't make any difference." said Steve
Ballmer. "It's time that the US Government opened up to some
     competition, that would get people out to vote and wring out a lot of the

     Microsoft is solidly against splitting up the government saying it would
cause too much harm to the public. They suggest letting Microsoft set up its own
     government and let the marketplace determine which government should rule.
Bill Gates said, "We already have more money than most governments
     around the world, and we have our own army."

     On what a Microsoft government could do for the people Mr. Gates added,
"Talk about bloated code. Have you seen the tax laws? A Microsoft
     government would have a simpler tax code, and each citizen would be given a
copy of Microsoft Money to help them track their finances."

     A coalition of companies headed by Sun Microsystems filed a brief shortly
after Microsoft stating, "If they get to form a government, we get to form a

     The Department of Justice is expected to respond to the allegations within
a week. It is expected that this case will reach the Supreme Court.

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