fortean1@frontiernet.net wrote:
<<
The thing that most troubles me after having
been taken on a long ride through the system, is that the psychoanalysts
seemed to me to be the most messed up of all of us.
>>
Oh, indeed true! When my daughter was small, we had big troubles with her
(theiving) and eventually went the shrink/psychologist/psychiatrist route.
The first one was... *so stupid* he could not seem to figure out who we were
or what we were there for from visit to visit - and we were neighbors! The
second admitted that she was totally unable to work with my daughter, reasons
unspecified.
<<
I won't even hazard a
guess as to why, but I don't have enough fingers or toes to count the times
I have ended up discussing my psychologists' problems with them instead of
discussing what they perceived as my own.
>>
Our third started out being a good bit better, I thought. He wanted to see
the whole family for a visit or two to get a feel for how we related. Made
sense to me. But... as he continued for several more visits trying to
counsel us parents separately, I found I was listening to his problems with
his sons (considerably younger than my children) and comforting and
encouraging him... but *I* wasn't getting paid for *my* expertise. :/
<<
I cannot believe my experiences were
isolated and that I just happened to get the most useless psychologists
around.
>>
:))) My daughter complained to me that it was so boring to go there every
week after school, she'd rather be home playing/reading/doing homework. I
myself was sick and tired of it, and hoped to see real signs of improvement
so we could quit while feeling we'd accomplished something. Daughter said
all they did was play card games, I think Uno was the one mentioned. I
finally said to her, "You will continue to go there, and I will sit on the
steps (boring...) and wait for you, every week, no matter what, until *I*
feel convinced that your behavior has improved. And if I see a relapse we'll
be right back again. Do you understand?"
Within a couple months it was all done. She has never relapsed, and seems to
have ... either forgiven or understood or both, for she appears to hold no
grudges against me for this... punishment.
I sure wish I'd found a cheaper way, though. Something I could do at home on
my own.
One thing he did recommend, though, which I think is worth passing on: Hug
your kid. Make sure to keep that connection. Even big boys like hugs,
though perhaps not in public, unless the mom can make a game of it (like
maybe hug his friends too). Encourage laughter - I found it came with the
hugs.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Thu Jul 27 2000 - 14:11:19 MDT