Re: Buzzwords (was)Judging Beauty (was: wee-little

Date: Mon May 01 2000 - 21:19:36 MDT

In a message dated 5/1/2000 7:37:55 PM Pacific Daylight Time, writes:

> I have had to deal with such persons and
> found that killfiling them, even temporarily, comes pretty close to
> the problem.
Thank you for your suggestion : )
The reason I do not use this as my primary solution is twofold.

First of all, it isn't letting the person have the benefit of the doubt. It's
not respectful. Just because he says I'm being stupid doesn't entitle me to
do the same. And perhaps the guy *is* capable of behaving like a gentleman
and refraining from insults if he is told that this hurts my feelings. If I
don't speak up, it implies it's OK to continue to brow beat me. Once he is
told, *it's up to him* whether he respects my wishes and behave more kindly.
Besides, often his posts have value, and he may not know he is cluttering his
page with insults and other kinds of white noise that lessen the impact of
his argument!

Secondly, it does not help the list. New people might think that this insults
are normal and tolerated. They are *not* the norm. I firmly believe that
people who behave badly often are that way simply because key people in their
life LET them. I love ExI list and it's members, and am proud to be a member.

I owe it to the ambiance and aesthetics of this place to try to make it a
more pleasant, safe environment to hold dialogue.


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