Gomes.
>Subject: Points
>
>
>>In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
>>> happy.
>>> >> Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes
>>> &
>>> >> points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing
>something
>>
>>> she
>>> >> expects-- Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
>>>
>>> >> Simple Duties
>>>
>>> >> -------------
>>>
>>> >> You make sure there's plenty of gas in the car..........+1
>>>
>>> >> You make sure there are barely enough fumes
>>>
>>> >> in the car to make it to the nearest gas station...-1
>>>
>>> >> You take out the recyclables and stack them
>>>
>>> >> neatly by the curb.................................+1
>>>
>>> >> You take out the recyclables at 4:30 am, just as
>>>
>>> >> the truck pulls away...............................-1
>>>
>>> >> You load the dishwasher whenever you dirty a dish.......+1
>>>
>>> >> You leave dishes in the sink............................-1
>>>
>>> >> You leave them under the bed............................-5
>>>
>>> >> You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light
>>>
>>> >> panty liners with wings............................+5
>>>
>>> >> But return with beer....................................-5
>>>
>>> >> You leave the toilet seat up............................-1
>>>
>>> >> You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty........0
>>>
>>> >> When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort
>>>
>>> >> to Kleenex.........................................-1
>>>
>>> >> When the Kleenex runs out, you shuffle slowly
>>>
>>> >> to the next bathroom...............................-2
>>>
>>> >> You make the bed........................................+1
>>>
>>> >> You make the bed, but forget to add the
>>>
>>> >> decorative pillows..................................0
>>>
>>> >> You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.............-1
>>>
>>> >> You check out a suspicious noise at night................0
>>>
>>> >> You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing........0
>>>
>>> >> You check out a suspicious noise and it's something.....+5
>>>
>>> >> You pummel it with a six iron..........................+10
>>>
>>> >> It's her father........................................-10
>>>
>>> >> Social Engagements
>>>
>>> >> ------------------
>>>
>>> >> You stay by her side the entire party....................0
>>>
>>> >> You stay by her side for a while, then leave to
>>>
>>> >> chat with a college drinking buddy.................-2
>>>
>>> >> Named Tiffany...........................................-4
>>>
>>> >> Tiffany is a dancer.....................................-6
>>>
>>> >> Tiffany has implants....................................-8
>>>
>>> >> When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze
>>>
>>> >> at her lovingly...................................+1
>>>
>>> >> When mingling, you introduce her as "the ol'
>>>
>>> >> ball and chain," and pat her on the rump..........-5
>>>
>>> >> When your mate points toward a hot-looking woman and
>>>
>>> >> asks you if you think she is attractive, you say,
>>>
>>> >> "Yes, but nowhere near as attractive as you"......+1
>>>
>>> >> When your mate points to a woman and asks if you
>>>
>>> >> think she's attractive, you say, "Yeah, but
>>>
>>> >> don't worry, she's lousy in bed"..................-6
>>>
>>> >> That woman is her sister...............................-90
>>>
>>> >> You have one drink, and that's it........................0
>>>
>>> >> You have more than a few and perform the tango
>>>
>>> >> with a poodle.....................................-2
>>>
>>> >> You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember being
>>>
>>> >> fingerprinted....................................-18
>>>
>>> >>
>>>
>>> >> Saturday Afternoon
>>>
>>> >> ------------------
>>>
>>> >> You go to the mall together.............................+3
>>>
>>> >> You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then
>>>
>>> >> park the car.......................................+4
>>>
>>> >> You go to the mall, drop her off at the entrance, then
>>>
>>> >> drive to a sports bar..............................-2
>>>
>>> >> You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend
>>>
>>> >> to like it.........................................+3
>>>
>>> >> You spend the day shopping for furniture, and nap
>>>
>>> >> on a sectional......................................0
>>>
>>> >> You spend the day at a wholesale club, buying in bulk...+3
>>>
>>> >> Most of it chips and beer...............................-6
>>>
>>> >> You tackle a large household project, such as painting
>>>
>>> >> the den...........................................+15
>>>
>>> >> Or refinishing the floors..............................+16
>>>
>>> >> Or rewiring the basement...............................+17
>>>
>>> >> Or adding a second floor...............................+18
>>>
>>> >> Or setting up a Nerf Ball hoop over the bathroom
>>>
>>> >> wastebasket........................................-6
>>>
>>> >> And you're tickled pink about it.......................-15
>>>
>>> >> You visit her parents...................................+1
>>>
>>> >> You visit her parents and actually make conversation....+3
>>>
>>> >> You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the
>>>
>>> >> television..........................................-3
>>>
>>> >> And the television is off...............................-6
>>>
>>> >> You spend the afternoon watching football in your
>>>
>>> >> underwear..........................................-6
>>>
>>> >> And you didn't even go to college......................-10
>>>
>>> >> And it's not your underwear............................-15
>>>
>>> >> Her Birthday
>>>
>>> >> ------------
>>>
>>> >> You take her out to dinner...............................0
>>>
>>> >> You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
>>>
>>> >> Okay, it is a sports bar................................-2
>>>
>>> >> And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3
>>>
>>> >> It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
>>>
>>> >> your face is painted the colors of your favorite
>>>
>>> >> team..............................................-10
>>>
>>> >> You go to a nice, pricey restaurant and hire a
>>>
>>> >> guitar player......................................+3
>>>
>>> >> You go to a pricey restaurant, hire a guitar
>>>
>>> >> player and get up and sing.........................+4
>>>
>>> >> And you stink...........................................+2
>>>
>>> >> And you're not half bad.................................+5
>>>
>>> >> You get up and sing a Barry Manilow song, and you're
>>>
>>> >> escorted out to much applause......................-2
>>>
>>> >> You give her a gift......................................0
>>>
>>> >> You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance........-10
>>>
>>> >> You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance.....+1
>>>
>>> >> You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate.............+2
>>>
>>> >> You give her a gift that you'll be paying off
>>>
>>> >> for months........................................+30
>>>
>>> >> You wait until the last minute and buy her a
>>>
>>> >> gift that day.....................................-10
>>>
>>> >> With her credit card...................................-30
>>>
>>> >> And whatever you bought is two sizes too big...........-40
>>>
>>> >> Thoughtfulness
>>>
>>> >> --------------
>>>
>>> >> You forget her birthday completely.....................-10
>>>
>>> >> You forget your anniversary............................-20
>>>
>>> >> You forget to pick her up at the bus station...........-25
>>>
>>> >> Which is in Newark, New Jersey.........................-35
>>>
>>> >> And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast............-50
>>>
>>> >> A Night Out With The Boys
>>>
>>> >> -------------------------
>>>
>>> >> Go out with a pal.......................................-5
>>>
>>> >> And the pal is happily married..........................-4
>>>
>>> >> Or frighteningly single.................................-7
>>>
>>> >> And he drives a Trans Am...............................-10
>>>
>>> >> With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)..........-15
>>>
>>> >> You have a few beers....................................-9
>>>
>>> >> And miss curfew by an hour.............................-12
>>>
>>> >> You get home at 3 am...................................-20
>>>
>>> >> You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and
>>>
>>> >> cheap cigars......................................-30
>>>
>>> >> And not wearing any pants............................-40
>>>
>>> >> Is that a tattoo???.................................-200
>>>
>>> >> Her Night Out
>>>
>>> >> -------------
>>>
>>> >> You watch the kids while she goes out with her
>>>
>>> >> annoying work friends..............................+5
>>>
>>> >> She goes out with her annoying work friends, and
>>>
>>> >> she comes home late...............................+10
>>>
>>> >> You wait up............................................+15
>>>
>>> >> She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you
>>>
>>> >> put her to bed....................................+20
>>>
>>> >> A Night At Home
>>>
>>> >> ---------------
>>>
>>> >> You watch TV together....................................0
>>>
>>> >> You rent a movie........................................+1
>>>
>>> >> You rent a movie and it's SENSE & SENSIBILITY...........+3
>>>
>>> >> It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you stay awake throughout..+5
>>>
>>> >> It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep............-1
>>>
>>> >> It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep and drool..-2
>>>
>>> >> A Night Out
>>>
>>> >> -----------
>>>
>>> >> You take her to a movie.................................+2
>>>
>>> >> You take her to a movie she likes.......................+4
>>>
>>> >> You take her to a movie you hate (anything with
>>>
>>> >> Susan Sarandon)....................................+6
>>>
>>> >> You take her to a movie you like........................-2
>>>
>>> >> It's called DeathCop 3..................................-7
>>>
>>> >> Which features cyborgs having sex.......................-9
>>>
>>> >> You lied and said it was a foreign film about
>>>
>>> >> orphans and sheepdogs..............................-15
>>>
>>> >> Flowers
>>>
>>> >> -------
>>>
>>> >> You buy her flowers only when it's expected..............0
>>>
>>> >> You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for
>>>
>>> >> the hell of it.....................................+5
>>>
>>> >> You give her wildflowers you've actually
>>>
>>> >> picked yourself...................................+10
>>>
>>> >> And she contracts Lyme disease.........................-25
>>>
>>> >> Your Physique
>>>
>>> >> -------------
>>>
>>> >> You develop a noticeable potbelly.......................-15
>>>
>>> >> You develop a potbelly and exercise to get rid of it...+10
>>>
>>> >> You develop a potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
>>>
>>> >> Hawaiian shirts....................................-5
>>>
>>> >> Finances
>>>
>>> >> --------
>>>
>>> >> You spend a lot of money on something impractical.......-5
>>>
>>> >> Something she can't use................................-10
>>>
>>> >> Such as a motorized model airplane.....................-20
>>>
>>> >> And your kid needs braces..............................-30
>>>
>>> >> In fact, all four of the kids need braces.......-120
>>>
>>> >> Driving
>>>
>>> >> -------
>>>
>>> >> You lose the directions on a trip.......................-4
>>>
>>> >> You lose the directions and end up getting
>>>
>>> >> lost............................................-10
>>>
>>> >> You end up getting lost in a bad part of town..........-15
>>>
>>> >> You get lost in a bad part of town and meet
>>>
>>> >> the locals up close and personal..................-25
>>>
>>> >> She finds out you lied about having a black belt.......-60
>>>
>>> >> The Big Question
>>>
>>> >> ----------------
>>>
>>> >> She asks, "Do I look fat?"..............................-5
>>>
>>> >> (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
>>>
>>> >> You hesitate in responding.............................-10
>>>
>>> >> You reply, "Where?"....................................-25
>>>
>>> >> Communication
>>>
>>> >> -------------
>>>
>>> >> When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,
>>>
>>> >> displaying what looks like a concerned expression...0
>>>
>>> >> When she wants to talk, you listen, for over
>>>
>>> >> 30 minutes.........................................+5
>>>
>>> >> You listen for more than 30 minutes, without
>>>
>>> >> looking at the TV.................................+10
>>>
>>> >> She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep......-10
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
>______________________________________________________
>Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>