Re: Plea (was ExI: Cognitive Extropians)
Sun, 19 Jan 1997 14:45:52 -0500 (EST)

In a message dated 97-01-19 13:09:38 EST, Daniel lee writes:

<< you are free
to feel insulted by my beliefs if you like, none was intended.

Of COURSE i free to feel insulted, silly boy! I am free to feel anything I

I don't
know anything about you personally.

Well, if you did you would not have called me new age, and you would have
CERTAINLy known that that would insult the hell out of me. I hate mysitc, new
age stuff!
In fact, in an Extropian forum, I think almost everyone would recognize "new
age, mystical" as a put down, if not they are in the wrong room.

Perhaps, I know you well enough now by your posts to know some buttons I
could push that may insult you, but it would be counter productive to do it.
Plus you have already asserted that you are incapable of being angered by
words, so perhaps you are immune to jabs of that nature.

>>I believe that words have meaning.>>

Here is that conundrum again, what do you mean by words have meaning? That
they have an effect on people? What can they do, if they don't cause thoughts
which give rise to emotions which then give rise to actions.

>>To what specific referent do the words "balance of thoughfulness and
detachment" refer?

This is what I meant:

If we can look at a specific emotion ( let's use the asshole example):

.... if a homeless guy runs up to my face at fifty miles an hour and yells
"ASSHOLE!!!!" - spits on the ground and runs off...
I will certainly, at first, feel angry, upset, perhaps threatened and maybe
even cry.

Then, with the proper detachment, in a few seconds I will become thoughtful
again, I will realize that this is not someone who i care about , and worse,
he is crazy as a loon, and I will rationally decide that my anger was a
flight or fight response, and calm down, shaking my head and releasing large
amounts of adreniline back to where they can be processed into my system....
Now if my dearest friend says it, I will have a totally diffrent RATIONAL
But the emotions may be largely the same, intitally.
I will also perhaps get a surge of adreniline, maybe even cry, but I will
thoughtfully balance my actions with the response, maybe see if I have done
anything really assholey, then if not, I will confront him, chosing what
emotion is appropriate.

If in the case that I was an ass, perhaps I did something that needs an
amends, or some action i can take, if not, maybe I need to change something
about the reltionship or drop the friend, either way I have decided upon an
emotional/rational course, based on how much VALUE this person has in my
life, what the situation is and how it will benefit the relationship and

>>Upon what scale, by what unit of measure, am I to
seek this "balance"?

I have no idea, it is your choice. I balance it by how much productivity and
pleasure I get out of situations. And how efficacious I am as an individual.

<<What do you mean by "allow for" emotions? Do you
mean to recognize that they exist? >>

No, they do not need your recogition in order to exist.

No, simply, I mean FEEL them, allow the emotion that is appropriate, then do
the_work_( and it can take work) to control them, instead of repressing them
or denying they exist. This is different than compulsively acting (reacting)
on them or expressing them,. BTW.