Re: Damien diagnoses me as having the dreaded g*n virus!

From: Damien Broderick (
Date: Sat Mar 18 2000 - 05:51:38 MST

I don't want to answer this post, I really don't. But a man's gotta do what
a man's gotta do.

At 11:52 PM 16/03/00 +0000, John Grigg wrote:

>Now surely Damien, you enjoy firing a gun? Even if it
>has been a long time?

I fired a cap-gun for a while about 45 years ago. My parents were furious,
but I'd nagged my grandfather into buying it for me. He'd killed plenty of
humans in France with his machine gun, and was full of shrapnel. I used to
wash his lumpy back when I stayed with him because he couldn't reach, but
he didn't sexually molest me or do anything to me with actual guns. His
son, my uncle, had killed a few humans over Germany with his airplane. He
couldn't talk about it and went mad after a while and died. My father
killed nobody. He just precision-machined some gauges used to make machines
that killed humans, so they didn't let him go into the line of fire. My
mother made some too. That's how they met. They liked each other because
they both played tennis. I can't play tennis, because I have no depth
vision. This would be a big problem if I wanted to kill humans with
firearms. Luckily, very few people in Australia have access to sidearms,
because most of us regard possessing such lethal things somewhat the way we
feel about the scene in FUTURAMA where the big ugly future dude at the
weapons show shills a vial of Anthrax, `just for hunting purposes, naturally'.

>What is going on in Australia?? I thought you folks
>were as fierce on gun freedom as Americans but that is not what I am

You're probably thinking of Austria.

People who live in the country, or the bush as we call it, maybe 10 percent
or less of the population I guess, often own those big long weapons you use
to kill animals with. They tell the policeman about them, and he writes it
down. Then when they kill humans the policeman knows who did it. This
doesn't work very well, because a while back a young sociopath shot dead a
lot of humans because he felt sad and rejected. Now he lives in jail and
everyone hates him even more. They don't let him have his weapons in there.

>The New Zealanders will invade and steal all your nation's women!!

Actually most New Zealanders are women, and most of them aren't all that
interested in Australia's women, who are also more than half of all


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