>Paul (Saul of Taursaus) fell off his lazy ass (or was thrown....?)...
>he then had (a) a divine revelation (b) hallucinations caused by (1) trauma
>(2) the dope he was smoking (3) the alchol he was drinking (4) some
>combination of the above
>and the lazy ass spoke to him....
Wrong Testament. It was Balaam, the old testament prophet who had
intercourse, oral..er..verbal, with his ass, his OWN ass no less.
Come to think of it, Bible prophets, judges and sundry characters had a
number of bizarre bestial encounters. Eve and the loquacious serpent. The
leviathan that saved Jonah from drowning, and *hurling* him onto the beach.
Hmmm, doesn't that mean Jonah was occult? Samson (I never took no steroids)
killed 1000 bad guys all by himself, using the jawbone of an ass. Samson
tied flaming torches to the tails of a bunch of foxes, in order to destroy
his enemies crops. Samson killed a lion with his bare hands, then, later
ate honey out of its' rotting carcass. Elijah or ..sha, I can't remember
which, righteously caused a bear to attack and kill a bunch of children who
teased him by calling him old baldy. Nice guy. Elisha or ...ja, I can't
remember which, was fed by ravens during a famine. Everybody tried to
appease God by killing and barbequing their livestock. Jesus sent demons
into a large herd of pigs, that proceeded to turn into lemmings, drowning
themselves in the nearby lake. The pig farmer's insurers invented the *Act
of God* excuse. Noah managed to save at least 200 million creatures from
drowning, in a hand made boat.
The Paul Saul story does have SPaul getting thrown from his startled steed.
There are two differing accounts of what happened. Yup, that's right. One
reports that PSaul's men heard, but didn't see the apparition. The other
account has them seeing, but not hearing whatever caused the commotion. I
know I'm being picky. Maybe little flaws shouldn't count. After all, the
authors were only human.
I should get off my lazy ass and look up the Biblical references for the
above, but I don't find any pleasure or benefit or redeeming quality in time
spent in a place that consumed too much of me, already.
[mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]On Behalf Of EvMick@aol.com
Sent: January 6, 2000 12:51 AM
Subject: Re: Jesus Christ in the Koran
In a message dated 1/4/00 9:16:28 PM Central Standard Time, email@example.com
> I got off my lazy
> ass and looked it up. [I don't know what Im gonna do with that
> lazy ass of mine. I may trade him for a horse.]
Well....take historical precident as an example...
Paul (Saul of Taursaus) fell off his lazy ass (or was thrown....?)...
he then had (a) a divine revelation (b) hallucinations caused by (1) trauma
(2) the dope he was smoking (3) the alchol he was drinking (4) some
combination of the above
and the lazy ass spoke to him....
Thence he became a supporter of that which he had previously tried to
destroy....the major supporter in fact....the MOST infuluential supporter...
In fact....if it wasn't for that lazy ass we wouldn't have Christianity
So don't discount the earth shattering, world changing power of lazy
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